Same-o same-o

After a pretty uneventful weekend, this morning started off on a fresh, hopeful note. Something about Monday mornings; they're optimistic somehow. I changed my routine and stopped at Enoteca Vespaio for a strong double americano and a currant semolina scone (their scones are totally good, not like those inedible crumbly things that turn to raw dough in your mouth that various coffee shops call 'scones'). The drive to San Marcos was actually enjoyable, aside from Air America radio constantly cutting out.

At work, I have been charged with the task of getting a federal grant proposal out the door by or before February 24th. At first I thought I would be sort of shepherding it through as various other people would write sections of it and i would pull it all together along with the bazillion federal forms that are required. But, it became clear last week that no, I would be writing the bulk of the 30 page narrative including the literature review. I'm not exactly complaining, because preparing this grant is a lot more interesting than my actual work. The grant is to evaluate the effectiveness of violence prevention programs - which is totally my thing, though I've never done a truly rigorous evaluation with randomly assigned experimental and control groups, which is what the feds want. So it's a little intimidating. What's really got me anxious though is that the people who are on the grant with me (the various PhDs from the university) are not exactly inspiring confidence. None of them has explicit experience with evaluation research, and none with youth violence prevention. I'm realizing that I don't have anyone to cling to - which I suppose is good for me. I'm supposed to have my PhD in about a year, and there won't be much difference in what I know right now and what I will know then - in other words, I need to start stepping up with the confidence that will be expected of me once I have the credentials after my name.

So anyway, I tried to work on it over the weekend but just felt overwhelmed and paralyzed. Which by now I recognize as my process (I fritter away all of the time allotted to a task feeling nervous and frantically reading things, and then in the last three or four days finally pound it out). Friday night we did do something constructive though; we went to the Elysium for the Handsome Joel Foundation benefit. Charlie opened up the show with his timeless acoustic tunes, and played "You make me feel retarded" just for M. and I. A few games of pinball, some free shots from Frap (apparently, being friends with one of the Breshears clan equals lots of shots of Jaeger), and we headed home.

Saturday night we saw Capote, and Sunday I was avoiding work so much that I actually watched some of the superbowl, which I usually girlcott as a matter of principle (working a few years in the sexual assault/domestic violence field will do that to ya).

And finally, I want to officially welcome Kenton Elias Le into the world, born January 1st to my best friend and her husband up in AK. I'm heading back to my hometown to meet him this summer with a stopover in Seattle (yay!).