"You're So Judgmental!"

Growing up often on the outer edges of social groups observing how people dealt with each other (sometimes with the rather misguided hope that I might be able to decipher the right social codes that people use so that I could one day be on the inside of one of these groups), one lesson became clear very quickly: One must not, or give the appearance that one might, "judge" other people. What does this mean, exactly? It seems to mean "live and let live," or "to each her/his own," and any number of similar individualist/liberal-type adages.

There is such a strong taboo (or at least a more, for the sociologists/anthropologists out there) against forming judgments of others that people go around actively holding back their opinions, or maybe not forming opinions at all about what goes on around them. It is always good to check your judgements for unfair/indefensible prejudice (e.g. basing them on some weirdo moral/religious grounds favored by the KKK) before blurting them out, but I think this obsession with not judging people gets carried too far and can be downright harmful. Like when people see sexual harassment going on and don't intervene because "who are they to judge." Sometimes I'm around people who make me afraid to say anything for fear of being labeled with the dreaded "you're so judgmental!" Damn right I'm judgmental. That's how we communicate and learn, by making judgments about things. That doesn't mean I think I'm right - big difference.

From the mission statement of the College of Liberal Arts at the University of Texas at Austin:

"The mission of the College of Liberal Arts is to make a free people wise, by educating its students in the ways of freedom, and by providing a model for education at other universities. The heart of a democracy is that the people must judge. Through education in the humanities and social sciences, the College of Liberal Arts will give its students the power and confidence to judge well."

There it is. I just need that confidence part.