Finally someone who shares my wonderment at the obsession over marriage, an institution based on an unequal distribution of power:
(copied shamefully from the I Blame the Patriarchy Blog) - I hope she'll forgive the transgression...
"Take the whole gay marriage dealio. Why the heck is Queerville so eager to invite the state into its relationships? I ask because hetero marriage--a condition for which the spinster aunt can have but little sympathy--is nothing to write home about; historically it has provided the infrastructure for applied misogyny, it continues to be disproportionately advantageous to the male partner, and its tendency is to morph into the Nuclear Family, the primary unit of modern serfdom. Is discrimination and bigotry asinine? Of course. It’s not that I think homos shouldn’t get married; it’s that I think nobody should get married. Of patriarchy’s many cornerstones, marriage is the cornerstoniest. So, c’mon, let’s abolish the whole thing! Who’s with me?"
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6 comments:
Geez...upset about something?
I love it when people blame men for the way the universe was created. Those social structures got society to where it is today, and all of the sudden your preverted interpretation is enough to doom them?
Once again someone confuses 'patriarchy' with 'men.' And yes, it's just me being 'upset' about something. Just me being overly sensitive to, oh, say 5,000 years of opression. No biggie.
seems like evil sandmich missed the point completely. (I didn't hear anybody at any point "blame men"--that would be absurd!) at issue is the question of why the state is regulating our interpersonal relationships and determining who can and cannot have certain kinds of relationships. I'm with stukupgirl--leave us alone!
Oh and also if one group is advantaged by an existing social structure while another group is consistently disadvantaged, shouldn't we at least consider other ways that we could organize our society so that nobody looses out?
Let me also point out that plenty of my hetero friends are married, and I love them all dearly. They have their reasons for being married, and I respect that. I am simply tired of keeping my opinions to myself while having cultural prescriptions about marriage shoved down my throat at every turn, and out of fear of being ostracized or disliked. I realize my views are unpopular and threatening to many, but what is a blog for if not for speaking my mind.
Who's this evil sandmich dude? Nothing like oversimplifying things!
Here's my thoughts (for what it's worth). The gay marriage issue isn't really about marriage to me as much as it is about writing in MORE discrimination into law. It's the fact that discrimination is about to be written into the Texas Constitution (I have little faith in Texas on this issue). It's about the idea that all Americans should be equal under the law (liberal feminism 101) and these types of anti-gay marriage laws are promoting systematic inequality. So I am fighting like mad for No Nonsense in November, even though I fear it maybe a hopeless pursuit.
I don't know how I feel about marriage anymore. It's all so murky to me now. Frankly, the wedding-- the party appeals to me more than anything else, as I love parties. But I have been thinking about the original post-- marriage ideal-- patriarchy's biggest snow job, and I agree. To some extent, marriage is just false consciouness-- making women (and I guess men too?) believe that the sacred institution of marriage is good for them. Is it? I don't think it is as good of deal as it's been billed. Then there's tweakers like Linda Waite running around espousing the wonders of marriage for women, which also gets me all worked up. Ick to her.
At any rate, I am glad that you made this post. Not so glad to see some evil sandmich guy's commnet, but whatever to him and his misunderstanding of matters that are complex.
Once again someone confuses 'patriarchy' with 'men.'"
I think you're deflecting a bit. This would be like me complaining about "inner city hoodlums in Detroit" and then claiming it has nothing to do with black people.
It's about the idea that all Americans should be equal under the law...It's a false notion that there can be perfect equity and it's a basis behind the communist (i.e. failed) idea of the 'new man' that can somehow be created if all the biases and independent thoughts can somehow be expunged from humans.
Point being, marriage is a basic element of society and much like other enemies of the far left (religion, nationhood, etc.) they don't bother to propose something specific to replace it, just 'anything'. However, those arguments have already been had since these elements at one point didn't exist and thus had to win out against other competing ideas.
Or to paraphrase a famous pundit, "the last several decades have been about replacing what works, with what sounds good".
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